How to Win Husband Back Before Divorce

How to Win Husband Back Before Divorce

Is there any chance to restore the relationship if your husband left you? Yes, if you know how to do it! Everything depends on the methods you will choose. In this article, we discuss the most efficient ways to get your husband back.

Why do men leave their wives?

Many women come to the psychologist with the same problem: “My husband left me because I was a bad wife!” However, in reality, they were too good wives. What does it mean? If you are constantly thinking about your family and never about yourself, your husband gets a signal that you are too perfect, and you don’t need his care and protection. He doesn’t need to invest any money and efforts in you. That’s the nature of men – they value only these things which they get for some price.

Therefore, be rationally egoistic in your relationships. If you let your husband take care of you, he will value you more.

How to behave if your husband left you?

Every woman hopes that it will never happen to her, even if she feels that something goes wrong with her husband. She thinks that they will live together forever and suddenly her man tells that he has another woman. At this moment it is necessary to understand that relationships are over. Everything is going to be different regardless whether you decide to divorce or save the family. You can act in two ways: get depressed and despair or perceive the situation as an experience and an opportunity to improve yourself. What way you will choose?

Maybe he made a mistake?

Nicole prepared dinner for her husband as usually. However, he put it away instead of eating and calmly said: “I wanted to notify you: I’m moving out tomorrow. I want to get a divorce.” Nicole was shocked, and the plate of pasta was immediately thrown into John’s face: “You are a scoundrel! I suspected that you have another woman! Do you think that I’ll leave it like that?!” Suddenly she stumbled: “You are joking, right? But it’s not the time for jokes…”

Shock and unbelief is a typical reaction to such news. Everything was so good. Just yesterday you visited his relatives and recently you bought new underwear for your husband. This how you feel at the moment when you realize that your wallet is stolen. Before you grasp what has happened, you rummage in the bag hoping that your wallet is somewhere here, but it is not. As a result, you are getting angry and irritated. The same with your husband – you perceive him as a man who has stolen your family happiness. You blame him: “Get out! I’ll manage without you! I don’t need your money and your flat!” However, you will regret your decision afterward.

The best thing you can do to recover and plan your actions is to say your husband: “I need to be alone to think over. I am not ready to talk to you now.” Allow yourself to release negative emotions, pain, and anger with the help of physical exercises. Just go for a walk in the park or go to the gym. You have an excess of adrenaline now, and you need to get rid of it.

Psychologists think that you can use this crisis in relationships in your favor. Claims, scandals, and reproaches lead to failure. Thus you should avoid them. Just let yourself cry. After all, when you complain or blame your spouse, he will think that his decision to leave you was correct. Nevertheless, when your man sees you crying, he will feel guilty. This reaction is exactly what you need if you want to get him back.

What is next?

Nicole called John one hundred times, but he didn’t answer. One day passed after he left her and suddenly Nicole realized that she is not ready to lose him. After all, they are together for many years. It is time to discuss everything with her mother who will tell as usually: “I warned you that it would happen!” Finally, Nicole thought: “Why should I give up so easily? John even hasn’t repaid the loan for our apartment…”

So you have overcome the phase of shock and realized the situation. There is one question: what should you do? Confusion, fear of the future, disorientation – that is what happening to you now. You were inside of your comfort zone for many years, and now you are forced to leave it. It is hard to do.

Probably when you were together, in the depth of your soul, you understood that your family “happiness” is very fragile and sooner or later it will be destroyed. Anyway, the loss of comfort zone is very stressful, but you should understand that there’s no way back to your old life. Of course, it will be very hard and uncomfortable at the beginning. You will learn to cope with problems alone without your spouse’s help. But why you decided that you can’t do it? This step is inevitable, so pass through it with dignity.

Do you still love your husband and want to get him back? At this moment, when you are oppressed by the fear of being alone, it is better to postpone your reconciliation, because you haven’t analyzed the situation. Yes, you can “try again” with your husband, but be ready that your relationships will be different. And there is no guarantee that he will not leave you again tomorrow.

What should you do?

Nicole looked in the mirror and thought that she should change her hairstyle. And then she smiled to herself. Why should she do it? Does it matter how she looks if nobody needs her? Nicole suddenly stopped: is it true that nobody needs her? It’s impossible! In a few minutes, she was calling to the beauty salon where she used to cut her hair.

Now you are confused and depressed and don’t know what to do. You can wait for him for years, and he will not come back. According to the psychologists, you have a chance to get him back only if you start to pay attention to yourself. You should develop an entirely new strategy. Specialists advice to ask yourself few important questions: “What do I want to achieve in my career?”, “What do I want to achieve in relationships with other people?”, “What do I want to achieve in my spiritual growth?”. After you answer and make the analysis of your current situation, you will understand that you have no time for the depression. You have a lot of work to do!

Analyze all aspects of your life: health, appearance, job, relations with friends and relatives, parenting. Figure out specific steps on how to improve each aspect. Setting deadlines is important. When will you lose 5 kilos? When will you go to the dentist? When will you go for the vacation? You lived for your husband for a long time, now it is time to live for yourself!

Stop feeling like a victim. Think, what marriage gave to you? Did you have any fun moments? Probably you learned to understand men better or improved your cooking skills. When you sum it up, you will get rid of the feeling that he used you.

The life is going on

Nicole has found herself thinking that she continues to make a bed for two persons. John always slept next to the wall, while Nicole was forced to fall from the bed sometimes. Nicole wondered that she always behaved in such way so it would be convenient for John. She wanted to please him by all means, but what for?

Right now, when you can think rationally, try to realize what has happened. Think why your husband left you? What was wrong with your behavior? Think how you should behave in order avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Don’t blame yourself for your failures, just move on and improve yourself. Form a useful habit: before you actually do something, ask yourself: “What benefits I can derive? Do I like what I am doing?”

Create new traditions which completely differ from what you used to do with your husband. Did you visit friends with your spouse every Saturday? Now you should spend this day with your children. Call to mind what hobbies you had before marriage and try to engage in it again.

Will he come back?

Nicole heard the sound of the opening door. She saw John. “I came to pick up some clothes…Can I?” – he said. “No problem, – Nicole answered, – it’s good that you came. We need to discuss when we are going to get a divorce.” John shifted from one foot to another and didn’t rush with the answer. Then he suddenly said: “Maybe we will try to start over again?” Nicole replied honestly: “I don’t know. I am not sure whether I want it…”

Most men mistakenly suppose that their new relationship will be different. They think that another woman will not require their care and attention. If your husband started new relations without changing his behavior, very soon he will miss you, because you are so familiar and close to him.

Before you agree to restore the relationship, think whether you really want it. You already have a small experience of being independent. Thus you have the opportunity to compare and decide what will be better for you. If at the moment of your breakup you had no choice, now it’s your turn to choose what you want. When you make the final decision, don’t consider the opinion of your relatives and friends. It’s your life and only you know how you want to live it.

If you decided to restore your relationships, you should have a serious conversation to discuss new rules of living together. The old ones didn’t work because they led you to the breakup. If this discussion will not take place, it means that you haven’t learned anything from the situation and more likely that he will leave you again.

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