How to Get a Guy Back that Pushed You Away

How to Get a Guy Back that Pushed You Away

Probably, everybody broke up with the loved one at least once in the life. One day he says that he needs to be alone, away from you. At this moment you understand that you don’t want to lose him. How to behave to get your boyfriend back?

The chronology of the breakup

Small changes in the relationship are impossible to notice at first glance. However, sooner or later you get the message from him: “We need to talk,” and come to the appointed place for meeting fearing the worst. Instead of hugging you as usually, your boyfriend is tense and concentrated. He tells you that everything has changed. Your relationship now is not the same as it used to be at the beginning. He also can say that it’s his guilt because you are a cute girl or he just needs a break.

When you hear it, you start looking for the reasons. Maybe he has another girl? Or you did something wrong? After that you start to make your arguments:

  • If I am nice, why you are leaving?
  • I can change…
  • Give us a chance!
  • Everything was so good! It is so stupid to break up now.

Unfortunately, nothing works. And you go home with tears in your eyes. Emotions are swirling inside: you feel pain, anger, sadness, frustration and hope that everything will be alright. Finally, you make the decision to restore the relationship, but first try to answer a question: why do you want to get your boyfriend back?

If you knew from the beginning that your relationships are not serious and assumed that sooner or later they will end, then maybe you shouldn’t restore them? Does it really worth your efforts? Here are the situations, when the best solution would be just accepting your breakup and moving on:

  • If he cheated or lied to you.
  • If you invested in your relationship more than received.
  • If he didn’t satisfy you physically or emotionally.

In these cases, don’t waste your time. Perceive the situation as the valuable experience and get out of it with dignity.

Five steps to get your boyfriend back

Step 1. Silence

The first thing you have to do is to disappear from his life for some time. Under no circumstances, you should contact your ex. Don’t try to meet him, don’t call or send messages. He should feel loneliness. Complete silence will help him to feel your importance, so he will realize what he has lost.

Step 2. Try to figure out why he left you

Analyze the causes of your breakup which can be very diverse. You should find your mistakes and correct them. Everybody has unique reasons. However, we can highlight some of them which are more or less typical for everybody:

  • Uncontrolled jealousy
  • No desire to communicate with his friends
  • You share different values and life goals
  • Mismatch of sexual desires

Here are the examples of everyday problems which destroy the relationship:

  • Work which doesn’t allow you to pay enough attention to your loved one.
  • Distance, if you live in different cities or countries.
  • You don’t like his friends and family.
  • Money: you have different incomes and needs.

After determining the causes of your breakup, you will easily find the solution for the implementation of your plan.

Step 3. Look for a solution

Now take the list of your problems and try to determine the ways of solving them. Note that it doesn’t mean that you should change your character, but rather to grow and improve yourself to move towards positive changes in your life, which will always coincide with your personality and character.

Are you jealous? Try to become more confident and improve your self-esteem. Did he blame you for the inability to dress properly? Take care of your appearance and change your style. You don’t like to go out? Discover the pleasure of communicating with friends and having fun outside the four walls of your home. Did he laugh at your shape? Go in for sports, fitness, swimming or dancing!

Keep in mind that you shouldn’t become another person. The idea is to start to enjoy your life in all aspects. Regardless the result, these changes will be useful for you anyway. After you went through these three stages, it is time to approach your boyfriend.

Step 4. Approaching your man

The phone call is the most direct, but also the riskiest way to restore communication. Don’t be sad or show your depression to him when you call. He will be surprised because he expected a heavy conversation with crying and scandals, but instead, you talk about neutral things and show him that you are calm and happy. If the phone call seems too complicated, you can try sending him a message to check his reaction.

During the second conversation, you can offer to meet without insisting. Do it in a friendly manner: “It would be nice to see you next week in the club.” If he refuses, don’t show that you are frustrated. You can try again later. If he agrees, then you have a chance!

Step 5. Meeting

If you decided to see each other, be calm and natural. Try to avoid talking about your breakup. It is better to talk about your current life. Tell him what you were doing and show that you have changed. For example, if he criticized your style, you have to dress up perfectly for your meeting. If he thought that you are unsociable, tell him that you have met new friends and have fun with them. Your mission is to be as attractive as possible. Emphasize these traits of your personality which he liked about you. If he has noticed your changes, make it clear that you did it for yourself, not for him.

At the end of the meeting, just play it by ear. Don’t be too persistent. Tell that you would be happy to meet him again but don’t appoint the meeting. If your man was pleasantly surprised by your behavior, he will definitely want to see you again.

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